#15) Run

"We can so live that we can call upon the Lord for his protection and guideance... We cannot expect His help if we are unwilling to keep his commandments."
-President Hinckley

One of my really good friends loves to go running with me on the BYU outdoor track. We ran quite frequently at the beginning of the school year and slowly quit without much time. One afternoon after our classes were out, we were both free for once and decided to run around the block. We ran up past the temple and back. While we were running, I noticed that I wasn’t feeling very well. I hadn’t been getting very much sleep that week because I was so busy with homework but still kept running at my fastest pace. I was excited to finish the run and pushed through till we made it back to campus housing where my friend lived. She invited me to eat with her at the Cannon center and for some reason I felt like I needed to go with her. We went to her dorm to change before we left for dinner. While I was waiting for my friend to get ready I started feeling very sick again. Suddenly everything around me looked like a fuzzy TV screen. I knew that my friend was talking to me but the words weren’t registering in my mind. After standing there for a minute I told her that I needed to sit down. She got me a water bottle and I was finally able to see and hear again. She told me that I had been starring off into space and wasn’t responding to the questions she was asking me. If I hadn’t sat down I probably would have passed out. I am glad I listened to the prompting to go to dinner with my friend. If I hadn’t, I could have passed out while I was driving back to my apartment and gotten in an accident. I am so grateful that I was in tune with the Holy Ghost that afternoon.

#14) Fear

When I was at home over the break I found a list of questions on the kitchen counter that really intrigued me. The question I thought was most interesting was: what activity, sport, or project would you try if you weren't afraid?

If I weren’t afraid, I would try out for the BYU women’s choir and tennis team.


At the beginning of the year I went to a leadership dinner with thirty other freshmen. All of us were told that we were the leaders of our class. I have felt the weight of this responsibility throughout the semester but haven't done much about it. BYU is so competitive that I have felt incompetent when aspiring to join different organizations.
In high school, I tried to do as many clubs and teams I possibly could. I was tennis team captain, on the golf team, swim team, track team, student counsel, student body vice president, FCCLA vice president, in the national honors society and WAMO service club. It has been so different to go from all of these organizations in high school to absolutely none this semester. All of these clubs and teams I was a part of in high school taught me an important lesson that I need to be reminded of: charity.

Although I was extremely busy in high school with homework and my out of school activities, I always seemed to have time to accomplish everything that needed to be done. When I serve others, I noticed that my day not only goes smoother, but I am happier because I forget myself. I shouldn’t be afraid to try out for the tennis team or choir. The only thing that is holding me back is myself. With Christmas approaching, now is the perfect time to really reach out to fulfill my responsibility as leader of my class. I would like to get involved in service organizations and start blessing the lives of others.

#13)I Hope They Call Me On a Mission

"I hope they call me on a mission when I have grown a foot or two. I hope by then I will be ready to teach and preach and work as missionaries do."

Throughout this semester I have gained the testimony of missionary work. Although I know that I will not be able to serve a mission for at least a few years, I joined Brother Bott’s missionary prep class. My sister took it last year and said that the class not only prepares you for a mission, but for marriage and life in general. For the class we were given the assignment of teaching a discussion at the beginning of the semester. I decided to teach my roommate Carly but didn’t really know what I was going to specifically teach. I prayed for guidance that I would teach her what she needed to hear and pulled out my Preach My Gospel handbook. Flipping through, I realized that my brother had taught our family the discussion on prayer when he got home from his mission. I kept looking through the book but wasn’t really paying attention to the titles because all I could think about was this discussion given by my brother. An experience I had with prayer then popped in my head and after some frustration, I decided to just teach Carly about prayer. I taught the lesson and shared spiritual experience where my prayer was answered then challenged her to pray morning and night. I promised her that if she committed to the challenge, she would be blessed. She accepted and we prayed together. After I was done, she then told me that she hadn’t been saying her personal prayers for a couple years now and asked me how I knew that she was having a hard time with prayer. When Carly said this, I received a confirmation that the Holy Ghost really does guide missionaries when they are preaching the gospel. I would have never guessed that she would be having a hard time with prayer. Ever since the day we had a discussion on prayer, we have tried to pray together every night. It has not only strengthened my testimony of prayer but made me realize what an impact I can have on others. I want to serve a mission and am grateful that I could help my roommate out with prayer.

#12) Thankful

I had a wonderful time with my family over the Thanksgiving break. We decided not to stay home in Salt Lake and visit our favorite vacation spot in Carlsbad, California. Although I was only with my immediate family for Thanksgiving, I had a wonderful time bonding with my siblings that I don’t get to see very often. Three of my younger siblings and parents got to leave a few days before me and my other siblings. I felt way sad that I couldn’t be there with them but was overjoyed when they came to pick my siblings and I up at the airport. We went to an incredible mall in Hollywood, ate at the Cheesecake factory, played on the beach, had a delicious Thanksgiving feast and went to the movie Blindside. One of my friends texted me while I was on vacation and asked what I was most grateful this year. I really thought about it and came to the conclusion that I am most thankful for my family, an education and the gospel. I have particularly become more thankful for my family as I have lived away from home this semester of school. Because I hardly get to see them, I now cherish every minute I am with them.

#11) Desolate

“Rachel! Rachel!” Slowly stirring, I lifelessly rolled over and gently peered through my heavy eye lids to see the luminous clock in my room. Late again. Yawning, I forced my small legs through the two familiar holes of my favorite jeans that were crumpled on the floor of my room. Leaving my pajamas where my jeans once were, I found a thick sweatshirt and combed through knots of tangled messy hair. As I was finishing, a faint yell came from downstairs, “You’re going to be late.” I forced myself down the stairs and entered the bright sterile kitchen, finding that my stomach was upset with me. Shoveling large spoonfuls of sweet, crunchy chocolate and peanut butter marble sized balls in my mouth, I tried to make the pains pass. I quickly scrubbed my small teeth till I couldn’t taste Reese’s Puffs anymore. Swallowing the terrible mint taste, I grabbed my backpack.

“My stomach hurts really badly” I thought to myself as I ignored my mom’s chatter on the way to school. The blinding sun was glaring at me through the window of the car as it reflected off of the sparkling snow that filled the streets. I knew she was trying to tell me what needed to be done to make it on the bus that afternoon. I began to listen, “…I will bring you your skis, snow pants and lunch before you leave for Brighton. Make sure that you get out of class on time so you don’t miss the bus. Bye! I love you!”
I can’t recall anything Mrs. Williams taught at school that day. It seems as though all I could think about was the inevitable afternoon ahead of me at the Brighton Ski Resort. I could feel a knot of worry in my stomach as I continually glared at the clock that wouldn’t stop moving on the back wall. The pulsing pains were so large I felt I was going to throw up. I put my head on my desk that smelt like the sweat of a smelly shoe and closed my dazed eyes, blocking out all noise around me.

I stood on the salt covered sidewalk, prepared with an entire list of excuses why I should stay home and miss my ski lesson. My mom rolled down the window of the car and happily shouted, “Hop in and I’ll help you get your snow clothes on.” I didn’t move. “I’m not going,” I exclaimed. She told me that I should still get in and proceeded to ask me why I didn’t want to go. I tried to think of the most convincing argument, “It is too cold outside!” She didn’t fall for it. She looked at me and asked, “What is really bothering you Rachel?” A wet film built up in my eyes, distorting my sight. Wiping away the tears I managed to utter, “I don’t have a good feeling about my class today. I think something bad is going to happen.” She told me that I can always pray if I feel scared. We said a quick prayer and she brushed away the small drizzles running down my cheeks. She reached in her messy purse and fumbled about finally retrieving a plastic bag of Tums. Their dusty tropical taste was overwhelming in my mouth. I made a face and walked towards the intoxicating fumes of the massive bus, hardly feeling better.

The controlling instructor who kept the class moving at an incredibly slow pace stopped once again to make an announcement: “Okay class we’ve made it to the end of our lesson. We’ve got one more run of the day. You can either go with me down this blue circle or medium level run or go on whichever run you’d like as long as you make it to the bus in time. Meet up at the bottom of the hill and don’t be long or you will miss the bus.” Looking around the large class I found my friends, “Hey Whitney is it alright if I go with you and Russell?” I asked. They weren’t too bad at skiing and I knew they would be up for the challenge of the hardest level of all: the black diamond. Whitney and Russell were thrilled that I wanted to go with them and we took off for the greatest quest of all time.

I finally felt free after being under such tight control for the past hour and a half. “Faster, faster,” I thought as a chilly mist of moisture sprinkled my face. The dense snow seemed flawless as I cruised down the hill like glass. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Whitney and Russell were enjoying the thrill of freedom as much as I was. They had sped ahead of me and were suddenly struggling to make it down the steep slope with much control. Like two birds attempting first flight, their wobbling legs took them at an incredibly fast pace. Disappearing in the distance, the mountain became desolate. Like waves crashing beneath my feet, I felt the power and control I now had over the mountain. Picking up my speed, I bent my body in a forward motion like I had seen the professionals do on TV. As I passed burs of white, green, and brown I knew that I was faster than any Olympic medalist. Suddenly the ground disappeared from beneath my skis and I was falling. I couldn’t tell where the ground was but soon found out when I hit the white cement like surface in an awkward position, my legs tangled about. One of my skis was gone! Overwhelming feelings of shock, discomfort, and worry hit me like a hard punch in the gut. I realized that I would never find Russell and Whitney by the time I found my ski and put it back on. I was unfamiliar with the resort and had no idea which way to go.

As I began to tear up, I remembered the uncertain feelings I had before I left. I bowed my head and prayed that I would be able to find my instructor and make it down the mountain safely. Crawling like a beetle across the white surface, I saw a thin green object sticking out of the snow about a basketball courts length away. It was my missing ski. I clicked the binding of my new found ski and made my way to a break in the run. The break in the run had three different routes all leading to different areas on the mountain. I had no idea which one my friends took. As I stood looking at the signs with worry a when a woman stopped, “Is everything alright?” She asked, “Are you lost?” My tear stricken cheeks and snow caked body must have given me away. I stood there silently and managed to nod. “Let me help you find your group. Everything will be alright.” She led me down the mountain at comfortable speed and lead me in the direction of the parking lot. Before she skied away, I thanked her for her help and quickly began undoing my bindings.

“Clunk, clunk, clunk,” walking on my heels as best I could while carrying my skis, I made my way to the bus parking lot. Rows of buses were lined up and ready to leave. I frantically sped up; looking for my specific bus number.

“1824..1824.. or was it 8124?” I thought. My heart pulsed at a rapid pace. Stretching my neck I peered through the windows of each bus, looking for a familiar face. “They’ve left me! I am too late!” I thought. As I made it though the last row of busses, I heard a familiar voice.

“Rachel!” I tossed my head in response to find Whitney standing next to a bus not far from me. A breath of relief escaped my lips. The corners of my mouth stretched revealing an incandescent smile. The burley bus driver lifted my weightless skis and loaded them in with the rest of the skis and snowboards. The bus was already loaded and I could hear the chaperone yelling the names of students at the front of the bus.

“…Alyssa, Michael, Whitney, Russell… are we still missing Rachel?”
With a large breath of air I closed my eyes and stepped onto the massive bus. I felt like an unwanted fly on the wall as all eyes stared at my blotchy face and snow caked body. The chaperone was yelling my name again.

“Rachel, for the last time.” Nearly touching her I quietly muttered “here.” She told the bus driver that the bus was full as he started the engine and began to pull away from the curb. I silently walked to the back of the bus. Each sixth grader gawked at my appearance with questioning eyes. Although I felt uncomfortable sitting on the last row next to a boy who looked at me with fear and displeasure, I had the reassurance that I was safe and would soon be home again. The brightly covered rocks sparked and shined in the pleasurable sunlight.

#10) Apartment 237

"We could learn a lot form crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty some are dull, some have wierd names, and all are different colors... but they all exist very nicely in the same box."

This quote makes me think of my roommates. Although we are really good friends, we are all so different and each have unique qualities that set us apart. I realized that have learned a life lesson from each of them.



Carly is extremely happy all the time and reminds me to laugh. She has really taught me what it means to be a good friend. She laughs and cries with me. I remember sitting in my room after a frustrating day feeling pretty down on myself. Carly knocked on my door and asked how I was doing. She comforted me and told me that everything was going to be alright. When I was getting in bed, I noticed a note on the floor by my door. It was from Carly. The note said how much she loved me and how glad she was that I was her roommate. I went to bed in complete gratitude for such an incredible friend and roommate.

Jessica is the mom of our apartment. She has taught me charity and gratitude. She is not only my sister but my best friend. With her selfless service, Jessica sets an example of Christ. When I was in the library studying one afternoon, she asked me to check out a tape recorder for her at the LRC. I checked it out and she made the biggest deal about it. It only took me about five minutes to do but she was so grateful that she went and bought me dinner, picked me up from school and said thank you numerous times. It made me almost feel bad when she was so charitable to me.

Mikelle has taught me not to stress the small stuff. One day Carly and I were late for school and would have been very late if we walked so we asked Mikelle for a ride. She was late for an appointment but was still willing to drive us to school. I grabbed my yogurt and got in her car. When she turned around to check her blind spot while pulling out of the parking garage, the yogurt was knocked out of my hands and splattered all over my clothes and her car. I felt way bad that I had gotten yogurt all over her very nice car. She was extremely nice about it and started laughing. She told me that it was her fault that the yogurt splattered even though I still think it was my fault. Mikelle is always willing to help out and makes every situation positive.

#9) Freedom

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Now that I am in college, I hardly ever go home. Unlike me, my two siblings who are also living in Provo go home at least once a week. It is not that I do not want to see my family but it seems as though I always have something going on and do not have the time. I can’t even go home on Sundays because I cannot miss church with my specific callings. My mom gets very sad when I do not visit and ends up calling me almost every day.

Although it is hard on my mom, living away from my home and family has really made me appreciate the little things I was blessed with. I now understand how much life really cost. When I lived at home, the food supply was endless consisting of many treats and unnecessary sweets. Now I am spending loads of money on the basic foods and it disappears very quickly unlike it did at home. I may be missing out on my mom’s delicious home cooking in Salt Lake but I am doing something much more important, gaining an education. I’m not only learning new things at school, I am learning the important lesson of responsibility. With no parental control, I decided when I go to bed, wake up, and do my homework. Although I don't always make the best decisions when it comes to bed time, I am learning what I can and can not handle. Although I am missing my family, I am gaining something else: character.

#8) Smile

"If you want to give a light to others, you have to glow yourself."

Yesterday I had my grandparents over for dinner. They can only visit us couple times a year because my grandpa is the Nauvoo temple president. My grandparents are the happiest people I know. They carry a spirit about them that I don't find in many other people. Whenever I am with them I feel unbelievably happy. My mom made a delicious meal like she always does consisting of turkey, salad, rolls, vegetables and ginger cookie ice cream sandwiches. After we were done eating, I decided to show my grandparents a youtube video I discovered at my friends house called the Validation. This video is about a man who complements everyone he sees. He makes everyone smile and feel good about themselves. His happy aura gives him opportunities he would have never had unless he was so happy. One day he met a girl that wouldn't smile. He tried everything to make her smile but gave up and stopped smiling and complementing people himself. As a result, he lost his job and wandered the street until one day a couple asked him to take their picture. He told them to "smile" and realized why he was having such a hard time in life; he had stopped smiling. The man made the couple realize how lucky they were to be alive and as a result began to be happier himself. He became a photographer and got the most genuine smiles out of people. The sad girl that once brought him down came up to him one day and complemented him when he was taking pictures. Come to find out, he hadn't ever been complemented in his life.

My grandparents are just like this guy in the movie. They are always so kind to everyone and don't expect one thing in return. They make people feel included and important. My grandparents haven't lived in their home for over ten years because of their resposibilities in the church. Throughout these ten years in scary places like Russia they didn't complain once. I know that my grandparents are so happy because they not only have testimonies but they smile and complement others. When our family went to visit them in Nauvoo over the summer, it seemed like everyone knew my grandparents. They all raved about them and said how they were the most genuine kind people they had ever met.

I was so sad when they left to go back to Nauvoo but was taught a great lesson. It is easy to get down on myself and say rude things about other people but in the end I just become unhappy. I would like to give a light to others like my grandparents and the man in the movie. In order to do this, I need to glow myself.

#7) You Are Never Alone

"If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me." (Moroni 7:33)

Last night my roommate told me how lonely she has felt the last couple weeks of school. She said that she feels alone even when she is surrounded by friends. As I tried to share words of comfort by telling her that the Lord is always there for her I realized how blessed I have been this past week of school.

I had a terribly overwhelming week with a research paper and four tests, one of which was a final. Tuesday night, before I was going to bed, I was asking myself how I was ever going to accomplish everything that needed to be done. I was reading in my scriptures and came across a scripture that said "...all things may be done through Christ." I continued to read and found another passage that specifically stood out to me. It was about relying on the Lord and said "...all you need is faith." After I finished my scripture study, I went to bed with hopes that all would go well with my studies.

I decided that I would continue to exercise every day and read my scriptures no matter how much homework I had. The next day at school, one of my friends from class asked me to study with him for our final. He walked to the testing center with me and helped me remember information I would not have recalled otherwise. I got a 96 on the test and left the testing center in a great mood. Thursday I had two tests to take, both of which I was especially worried for. When I was sitting in class I got two texts from different friends that wanted to study with me. I studied with both of them and ended up getting A's again on both tests. After I got out of the testing center, it was cold, dark and raining. I called my roommate for a ride and she happily picked me up. While driving home with her, I noticed that I missed a call from my sister. She left a message telling me that she would be happy to help me revise my research paper. I was thrilled to have her help and feel like I wouldn't have done as well as I did on my paper without her good judgment.

I know that I wouldn't have been able to accomplish all of my priorities without the help of the Lord. All of my friends service to me was a testimony not only of charity but of faith. If I had gone about the week with the attitude that I was going to fail and didn’t do the simple things like pray and read the scriptures, I probably wouldn’t have done as well as I actually did. We are not alone. The Lord puts people in our path to help us when we are lonely or in need of help to lighten our load. I hope that my roommate can someday learn this lesson.

#6) Footprints

The first test I took as a college student did not go very well for me. I was overwhelmed by the "great and spacious building" otherwise known as the testing center. One of my friends, Kevin Wagstaff, decided to go with me as we took our first test. When I looked up on the computer screen at my first college test score, I was devistated. Although I had not failed my test, I didn't do as well as I would have hoped. After I looked at my score, Kevin walked over to me with a beeming smile; he had just aced it. I was so distraught it was hard not to think about the test. His positive attitude and kind words brought me comfort as we left the testing center. He offered to buy me ice cream in attempt to lift my spirits. I am so thankful that Kevin could have been there when I took my first test because his small act of kindness to me left an impact of charity on me. He reminded me that there are more important things in life than one bad test score.

In mission prep we had a lesson about making an influence on the lives of everyone we come in contact with. I decided to take the challenge and left class in positive spirits. When I was walking to my next class, I noticed a boy crying on the phone in the Wilk. I decided to walk up to this stranger and give him a hug. He hugged me back and got off the phone after which he told me how his girlfriend just left for the MTC. I told him everything would be alright and that she is in the best place. His sobs began to get lighter as I proceeded to tell him that he could be a member missionary here at BYU. By the time I was done calming the boy, he had stopped crying and had a huge smile on his face. My day went by so much better because I lifted this boy's spirits. Although I do not know if my words of comfort had that great of an effect on him, I know that they were important for me to hear. You aren't living until you have lived for someone else. It is easy getting caught up in a self centered world, especially as a college student, but it is important to remember to serve and befriend our fellow men. You never know of the great impact you have on others, even through small acts of kindness.

#5) Courage

“Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”
1 Tim. 4:12

In Tuesdays devotional, Elder Huntsman spoke of courage and standing up for what you believe in. He told us BYU students to learn as much as you can. Sooner or later you will be in the minority as you stand for righteousness. When that time comes, you will be prepared. This act requires your testimony and strength. You must be brave in the chains that hold you back, in serving others, to believe and to act accordingly. Defend the principle of truth and righteousness by being brave even when no one is watching. He said, "How can I do this great wickedness and sin against God." Every time we fail to portray truth and righteousness we lose the trust of someone. Be bold even if you are the only one doing it. If you are brave enough, you will be better off to serve others and bring the lost back to church actvities.

This devotional made me think of all of the times I have had the chance to stand for what is right. One specific occassion really stands out to me. A boy asked me to homecoming that wasn't in my group of friends. He and his friends were known for being the more rebellious members of the church. I knew that I was going to have a hard time fitting in with this group but decided to go anyways. When we got to dinner I soon realized that I was the only modest girl in the group yet everyone there was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This not only made me feel uncomfortable about the way I looked but I was embarrassed for their revealing appearances. I felt out of place, insecure, and inadequate. As we were leaving the restaurant, a couple that had been watching our group stopped me and told me how beautiful my dress was. I was the only girl they complemented. Right then all feelings of inadequacy and insecurity vanished. I am so grateful that I was dressed modestly that night because this couple modivated me to be modest for every other dance I attended in high school.

#4) Not Enough Time.

While attending BYU, I have had the oppertunity to have complete control over my time. I quickly learned that this freedom can cause great problems. It seems like I could do homework all day every day and never be caught up. When you add on a social life and the basic necessities of life for a college student which includes food, sleep, and exercise, the days never seem long enough. Lately I have realized an important truth, if you do not have enough time for what is important now, you will never find the time in the future. Last week, I decided to go to the temple. Unfortunately, I only had one hour open in my schedule. When I got to the temple, I found that there was now way I would be able to do baptisms that evening. I was upset and decided to leave time in my schedule for important things like service, church activites, family, and baptisms for the dead. This time management principle has greatly taken effect in our English 150 class. With an uncoming research paper due, I must plan accordingly in order to finish my paper in time.