Monday, August 16, 2010

hope

Its 1:37 at night and I hardly feel like sleeping. Anxiety constantly pulsing through my veins, I dread the upcoming events. Tests, homework and lectures with concepts hard to grasp bounce around in my contimplative head. Why does school have to be so hard? I constantly find myself asking this question. Will this information be vital to my progression in life? What I find most discouraging is a low test score after diligant studying and significant effort towards the subject. Not only does school seem to get harder but every other aspect of life does as well. My studies have distanced me from friends and really influenced my attitude. Also, I do not know what decisions to make about the guys I date, how I should arrange my school fillled daily schedule, and lately I have really been wondering if I should go on a study abroad.

When I got home from a date tonight, I talked to my sister Jessica who reminded me of why I need to stick through and have faith that everything will work out in the end. I realized that I make my decisions, that is why I am here. Heavenly Father is only there to conferm that I make the correct decisions. The other day I was writing my friends in the MTC and thought I would throw in a scripture to strengthen and lift them up. I chose to write about John 16:33. This has been one of my favorite scriptures this school year. I had completely forgotten about it until a couple days ago. This scripture talks about how Christ has overcome the world. I only wish I could do the same. One of my friends, Misha Falk, wrote me back and told me what an influence this scripture had on him. It is important to realize that everyone has hard days. These days help us really discover and love the good days. How can you feel joy when you have never understood pain?

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